and here I go again

Something I wrote some time back ..
I sit and ponder over my thoughts ... and my thoughts are filled with a nightmare I had last night ... it was bad I can even call it cruel for the fact that it was MY dream .. and dreams reflect my state of mind. I was disturbed when I got up so I consoled myself thinking that "it was just a dream, nothing has happened in real life" at least I hoped so. So not to spoil my mood early in the morning I got up from my warm and cozy bed and continued with my daily routine. Rushed to the office and while on my way tried to listen to some good music whatever minute part of it was audible against the high volume at which the bus driver was listening to "his kind of songs". Well anyways even that did not comfort me so I continued with my work at office .. told a friend about my nightmare. Hmmm so even this did not work :(
So what better than writing it all down and emptying my mind of all these sad thoughts which were so stubborn and so detrmined to disturb me. I kept constantly reminding myself "it was just a dream for God's sake" why do I have to keep thinking about it. But the fact is that it was not "just" a dream .. it was not a happy dream .. it was a nightmare. How could I be so evil .. if I don't like someone, watching them helpless is not what I want. What pleasure will I get out of it. If this person gets harmed it is not going to reduce my hatred for him. I used to say "I cannot even dream of such a thing to happen" and look now how I've changed. I'm wondering how all these violent thoughts got into my mind ... people say that everybody has a devil inside them. If this is true then I guess my devil was active last night.. I want this devil to mellow down and not disturb me like this again. I  would want to tell him that I am a peaceful person and these violent and cruel thoughts which he brings to my mind .. I don't want them .. they shake me up and storm my mind.. and then it takes time and effort to get away with them.
I guess I would again like to listen to some good music to give peace to myself now that I have removed all the dirty thoughts from my mind and put them down here. So bye bye devil it is just a matter of few hours and I will get over YOU.